It’s interesting how some people can really aggravate us without deliberately doing anything aggravating.
Is it their demeanour and if so why? It could be their behaviour or the way that they look, but why particularly do those behaviours annoy us so much? Let’s find out.
For this exercise you’ll need paper and a pen.
1. Think about a person you find attractive.
On the left side of the paper list 10 desirable qualities that person possesses. Write quickly, don’t allow your mind time to edit your thoughts. You are the only one who will see this list, so be completely honest.
2. Now think of someone who you find unattractive, someone who irritates or annoys you, or makes you uncomfortable in some way.
On the right side of the paper list the 10 characteristics that you find unattractive. Why don’t you like this person? What are you infuriated or annoyed by in that person?
3. In the person you find attractive identify at 3 unattractive traits below their positive list.
Don’t fight it – nobody’s perfect. (The more you can accept faults in others, the more you will accept them in yourself). Now think about the person you found unattractive and identify 3 positive traits in them below their characteristics.
4. Now go through both lists and circle 3 positive and 3 negative traits that you can identify in yourself.
Go fast so your mind doesn’t try to reason with your decisions.
5. Look at the lists again and put an X next to every trait that annoys you in others.
6. In a separate list write the 6 that you circled and the 3 that you put a X next to.
You’ll be surprised to learn that you embody all of these traits. The traits you most strongly dislike in others are also part of you and are likely to create difficulty in your life. Others who have these negative traits will also frustrate you because you subconsciously identify them in yourself.
We attract people with all of these traits – the positive qualities because we admire them and the negative qualities because we are familiar with them and we have lessons to learn from them.
Anyone we feel strongly about, positively or negatively are like a mirror reflecting particular traits that we carry back at us. With this knowledge it becomes much easier to connect with people, and through those deeper connections we discover unity, compassion and consciousness.
Such is the power of the man in the mirror.
Maddy at BBetter Coaching x
(Inspired by Deepak Chopra, SynchroDestiny)